The Spare
by Was-Mokie
Summary: Sometimes families miss what is right in front of their faces. They don't mean to be cruel, but it happens at times.
1. Chapter 1

**The Spare**

Still enjoying writing some dwarven tales.

This is an AU story. Centers around Thorin and his family. Still adore Thorin, but he is a bit of an ass both in the book and movie. Sorry, Thorin fans, but the dwarf has flaws like us all. This is a tale of mistakes and misunderstandings. A person is never too old to learn from mistakes and we see that not only in Thorin, but also Dis by the end of this tale.

Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

I own nothing.

Chapter One

Kili wasn't the heir. He knew that and never felt sorry for himself because of it. No. Kili could never hold anything against Fili. Fili was Thorin's rightful heir. He was his big brother. His rock. Fili represented the new generation. Hope. The golden hair and the blue eyes drew a picture of majesty just like Uncle Thorin. Kili's looks did not draw a second glance most days. The Blue Mountain dwarves were not wealthy. They did as well as to be expected, but money could be tight to come by. It was Fili who got the new tunics and boots. It was Fili who got the regal, hair ornaments. Kili was the younger brother. The spare. He got the leftovers.

"There we go," Dis instructed as she placed Fili's outgrown garments in his arms, "Everything is mended and should do for the year. Happy Begetting Day, Kili."

The boy looked at his "presents" in acceptance. It was always the same.

"Thank you, Mother," Kili offered as he held the worn clothing and hid his disappointment that once again a gift for him was someone's cast-offs, "I am glad to have a newer coat. Mine has finally ripped too much to be mended anymore."

His mother didn't notice his veiled sadness and smiled brightly at her youngest son. Kili and Dis looked up when Thorin and Fili walked into the room. Kili sighed at seeing his brother wearing a new coat. Prince Fili had to look the part. Rarely did any glance Kili's way so it didn't really matter what _he_ looked like.

"Happy Begetting Day, Brother," Fili grinned out as Kili smiled back, "Sorry I wore my boots out from last year."

"That's okay," Kili agreed, "I can make mine last a little longer. I might even grow taller than you one day."

"You might," Fili chuckled, "You grow like a weed."

"I'll just put these away," Kili voiced seeing Thorin waiting impatiently to finish his conversation with Fili.

Kili's face fell as he left the room. He looked down at his own boots and sighed once again. The soles were thin and one had a hole since they had already been used pretty hard by Fili before the boots had been passed down to the youngest. Kili had really hoped that he could at least get a different set of boots even if the footwear had been used this year.

"I'll make do," Kili decided as he placed the garments on his bed and took a look at his new wardrobe and grimaced at how worn everything looked, "These have seen better days. No point whining. At least they aren't frayed like your other garments."

Kili appreciated everything he got, but the difference between he and his brother made him feel displaced. It was like he was there, but not there in his family.

"Like I'm a pet that you throw a bone to," Kili groaned to himself before startling as Fili entered the room.

"I'm sorry the clothes are kind of worn," Fili apologized as he regarded his old garments, "I used most of them pretty hard in training."

"No. They are fine," Kili denied plastering on a grin.

"You are disappointed," Fili commented as the younger dwarf shook his head, "I can talk to Uncle. I'm sure one outfit won't cost too much."

"No. Really. The clothes are great," Kili soothed, "I tore my old coat to the point of not being able to wear it anymore so your old coat is perfect. Plus, I've really wanted this blue tunic of yours. I was looking forward to today to get it."

"Liar," Fili chuckled before pulling out a package from his coat, "I, for one, think you should at least get one present that is yours and only yours. I got you something."

A thrill ran through Kili. Fili tried his hardest every year to make his Begetting Day special. Fili loved him as much as Kili loved his brother.

"You didn't have to," Kili gasped as Fili placed a small pouch in his hands, "Thank you."

Kili opened the pouch as Fili watched eagerly. The younger brother grinned wide at the new hair clip that sparkled in his hands. It was nearly as nice as Fili's.

"Here," Fili offered as he took the clip and pulled Kili's hair back, "I noticed that all of the ones you had finally broke since they were so old. There. What do you think?"

"I love it," Kili chirped happily while looking in a mirror on the wall, "Thank you, Fee. You shouldn't have."

"I certainly should have for the day that I was graced with a brother like you," Fili chortled, "You look good, Kee."

Spirits lifted, Kili followed his brother back to the living room and settled to hear one of Thorin's stories while the brothers' mother cooked dinner. Kili always got his favorite foods for his Begetting Day and he was looking forward to the meal.

"Kili, where did you get that clip?" Thorin demanded when they were walking to the kitchen later in the evening.

"Fili gave it to me as a present," Kili exclaimed as he turned to show the clip off, "How does it look?"

"Fili, did you use the money I gave you to get oil for your sword on that clip?" Thorin huffed ignoring his youngest nephew as Fili blushed.

"It is Kili's Begetting Day," Fili began as Kili's heart sank, "I wanted to surprise him and…"

"Enough. Kili give me the clip," Thorin ordered as Kili's eyes widened, "Do it."

Kili reached up and unclasped the clip and handed it to his uncle. He put his hands behind his back to hide the trembling as Fili was ordered to return the clip and buy the oil instead since that was more important than a frivolous gift.

"Stop spoiling your brother, Fili," Thorin ended finally as the family sat.

Kili made not a sound of complaint. There was no reason. If he complained then he was called ungrateful. He didn't know how he was being spoiled since he only got things that were old and used, but he kept his thoughts to himself.

"Look, Fili, chicken and potatoes. Your favorite," Dis urged as she sat the dinner before her family, "Dig in."

Kili blinked. Where was the mutton stew? He always at least got his favorite food on his Begetting Day. Was he going to be denied even that today?

"Was the butcher out of mutton, Mother?" Kili asked as a plate was set before him.

"Too expensive," Dis complained, "This is a good meal too."

"Yes, Mother," Kili agreed as he began to eat without another word as he stared down at the frayed cuff of his shirt since there was no point in arguing anyway.

Evening passed and Kili walked unhappily back to his room and looked around. Fili's old bed with his brother's old blanket. A trunk in the corner contained his practice weapons which were Fili's when new. There was little else in the room at all. He felt as much a cast off as the rest of the things he inherited.

"Just once I'd like to know what it feels like to be treated the same as Fili," Kili finally admitted to himself before startling at a knock on his door.

"We need to talk," Thorin stated as he entered the room, "I do not appreciate you allowing your brother to spoil you the way he does."

"What? I…I didn't ask for the clip, Uncle," Kili stuttered, "My old ones broke and I guess Fili decided to get me a new one as a present. I didn't even know he had bought it. I would never ask for anything. I know better."

"Yet, you accepted the gift," Thorin snorted, "You wore it in your hair."

"Uncle, I…" Kili began before shrinking back at Thorin's glare, "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"Good. Remember that promise," his uncle ordered as Kili watched him leave.

"You didn't acknowledge my Begetting Day or say goodnight," Kili whispered as his heart twinged, "Goodnight, Uncle."

The next day, Kili woke to a world of pouring rain. The teen dwarf sighed as he looked at his boots unhappily. Today would be a day of cold, wet feet.

"Let's see," Kili hummed as he looked his boots over and finally grabbed some scraps of leather and lined the bottom of the boots, "Maybe this will work."

Kili stood and dressed in one of his new outfits. Sighing once again, he regarded himself in the mirror. The clothes had been made to fit Fili and didn't really sit well on Kili's slenderer form.

"No helping it," Kili decided as he brushed his hair and held it back with a leather thong, "Not like anyone who matters notices me anyway."

Kili walked downstairs and frowned at the feel of the leather in his boots. There was little room in the things as it was and the newest addition to try to keep dampness out was making the boots uncomfortable to walk in.

"Why are you limping?" Dis asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Stiff from sleep," Kili lied as he gave an exaggerated stretch, "Good morning, Mother."

"Morning, Kili," Dis answered cheerily, "Dearest, I do not have enough sausage for everyone today. Can you make do with eggs and toast alone like I am doing?"

"Yes, Mother," Kili agreed since this was something he had been asked many times in his short life.

Kili sighed silently and watched his Uncle and brother walk into the room in deep discussion about whatever a prince and his heir speaks about. The youngest watched as plates of food with two plump sausages each were placed in front of Thorin and Fili while he got the usual lesser fare. Kili eyed his plate without complaint and merely ate his share.

"Where's Kee's sausages?" Fili asked suddenly when he noticed his younger brother's plate.

"I didn't want any," Kili lied for the second time in the morning, "It's fine, Fili."

"You love sausage," Fili denied as he frowned and placed his second link on his brother's plate, "Have one of mine."

"Really, Fili, I'm still stuffed from last night," Kili lied some more as he noticed Thorin narrowing his eyes so he quickly placed the sausage back on his brother's plate, "Here. Eat up. Seriously, I ate like a pig last night."

Fili studied Kili's face carefully as the youngest tried to make himself look earnest. The younger was glad when his brother finally nodded and went back to eating his meal. A thrill passed through Kili when his uncle gave him a look of approval.

"I actually made Thorin happy for once," Kili crowed to himself in his mind while his family ate breakfast around him, "I'm so glad. It's nice to be looked at with approval instead of disappointment for a change."

Finally, it was time for Kili to leave for his lessons with Master Denan and the rest of the dwarflings in the community. Fili was taught special by Master Balin and didn't have to go out in the abysmal weather today.

"Stay dry," Fili joked as Kili pulled on his frayed cloak.

"Right," Kili dryly quipped as he opened the door and wilted for a moment, "I hate rain."

"I know," Fili murmured, "Hurry quickly. Have a good day, Kee."

Kili waved cheerfully before trudging out into the elements. Sure enough if his boots did not fill with water immediately and his cloak allowed rain drops through since it had been mended so much over time.

"Look. It's the Pauper Prince," a voice called as Kili cursed softly under his breath and looked up to see some of his classmates going by with ease in their thick cloaks and newer boots.

"I'm not a pauper, Lud," Kili denied as he continued walking, "I'm the youngest so I get my brother's hand-me-downs. That's all. That is your brother's tunic under your cloak. I'm no different."

"I don't get hand-me-downs that should be burned instead of worn anymore," Lud chirped back as his cronies laughed around him, "My mother only gives me the pieces that are almost new. I've never seen dwarves without proper, hair ornaments either. Must mean that my family cares more for me than yours feels for you."

Kili stiffened and stopped as the very sentiments that he had been harboring deep down was voiced from his greatest nemesis.

"Perhaps," Kili choked out finally as his heart broke at admitting his own thoughts while Lud frowned at the lack of fight in the other dwarf, "I…I can only hope that you are…that you are wrong."

The other dwarfs parted when Kili pushed by them. Kili usually grew angry and fought hard against Lud or anyone else who crossed him. This was the first time he had agreed with their spiteful words. Lud himself frowned in confusion. This wasn't the Kili he knew and enjoyed teasing.

"Good morning, Kili," Master Denan greeted as the youth entered the building used for the school and sat to empty his boots of water, "Did you not tighten your laces properly this morning?"

"I guess I didn't," Kili lied once again as Lud walked by and glanced over and then away quickly.

"Slow down a little and follow through with a task to be more efficient," Denan offered as Kili nodded and pulled his soaked boots back on, "Let's take out our history books."

Morning crept towards lunch and finally the young dwarves were given free time to go home and get some lunch.

"You lied," Lud blurted as Kili pulled on his soaked cloak, "Your laces were fine. It's the damn boots themselves that are letting in the water."

"Doesn't matter," Kili agreed without rising to the challenge again, "I'll get better ones later."

The thing was Lud was correct. The boots were a problem and by the time the school day was over the cold dampness that had stayed with Kili made him feel pretty lousy. The youngster was cold and stiff and ended up doing horribly at the weapons training in the afternoon.

"Take these," a rough voice ordered as Kili began gathering his practice weapons after the training was over.

Kili blinked at a pair of boots that were thrust in his face while he was stooped to the ground. He looked up to see Lud holding the pair out to him.

"I can't take these," Kili gasped looking up in surprise, "I…I thank you very much, Lud, but my boots are fine right now."

"Lies," Lud sniped pushing the boots on Kili, "I grew out of these last month and I'm the youngest so no one else to pass these to. You've been limping in your boots all day. Just take them. Bye."

Kili blinked once again as Lud stomped away. He looked at the boots in his hands and felt ashamed that Lud was giving him something like he was a charity case. He also felt very warm that someone…anyone cared enough to do this for him. Kili looked at his boots on his feet and finally pulled the things off and tried on the new ones.

"They fit," Kili sighed as his feet felt warm and his toes weren't cramped anymore, "I hope nobody notices at home."

However, Thorin did notice right away and demanded to know where Kili had gotten the boots from.

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

**The Spare**

Still enjoying writing some dwarven tales.

This is an AU story. Centers around Thorin and his family. Still adore Thorin, but he is a bit of an ass both in the book and movie. Sorry, Thorin fans, but the dwarf has flaws like us all. This is a tale of mistakes and misunderstandings. A person is never too old to learn from mistakes and we see that not only in Thorin, but also Dis by the end of this tale.

Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

I own nothing.

Chapter Two

Kili blinked once again as Lud stomped away. He looked at the boots in his hands and felt ashamed that Lud was giving him something like he was a charity case. He also felt very warm that someone…anyone cared enough to do this for him. Kili looked at his boots on his feet and finally pulled the things off and tried on the new ones.

"They fit," Kili sighed as his feet felt warm and his toes weren't cramped anymore, "I hope nobody notices at home."

However, Thorin did notice right away and demanded to know where Kili had gotten the boots from. The teen was silent for a few minutes reveling in the feel of boots that didn't hurt for just a few more seconds, but his mother wasn't having it.

"Answer your uncle right now, Kili," Dis ordered as her son sighed internally, "Spit it out, Young Man. Tell us the truth."

Kili glanced between his mother and uncle and noted the twin looks of anger. Tell the truth? Why would he _ever_ lie? When had he ever become a liar to begin with? The teen had no idea why everything always seemed to blow up in his face no matter what.

"A kind of friend gave them to me," Kili truthfully admitted, "My boots just…they finally wore through and Lud had a pair that he grew out of and gave them to me this afternoon because he was irritated that I was holding the weapons class back with my limping."

Dis and Thorin both hissed in angry breathes as Kili groaned to himself softly. He should have known nothing would ever go easy for him.

"I cannot believe a son of mine would allow himself to take charity," Dis moaned as Kili's heart sank, "How _could_ you?"

"How am I going to show my face around here anymore with what you did?" Thorin snapped as Kili hung his head for a moment.

This was…it was just all too much. What in the world did his mother and uncle expect out of him? He couldn't make his boots grow. Grow? Grow.

"I…I don't understand," Kili blurted as Dis and Thorin glared at him, "I know that I'm just…just the youngest, but…aren't I a person too? I can barely fit my feet in my old boots anymore. I am growing just like Fili and when he needs bigger boots then he gets bigger boots. Why is it wrong for me to grow?"

Dis straightened as Thorin looked away uncomfortably. The teen sighed and finally gave up trying to understand this confusing situation. He would just have to make do somehow. Maybe Fili would have a growth spurt soon so he would get the boots his brother wore now. That would solve everything.

"I'll return the boots to Lud. My apologies for bringing dishonor on our family's name," Kili offered as he pulled off the shoes and pulled his old boots back on and limped away before either his mother or uncle could say anything else.

"You can do this," Kili reminded himself pulling his cloak tighter about himself, "Dwarves marched into battle and fought wars in worse conditions than you live in. Be a warrior, Kili. Suck it up. You're not a complainer."

However, now that he had worn proper fitting boots for a little the young dwarf could not deny that his old boots hurt terribly to walk in. Kili grimaced before pushing the discomfort away and limped to Lud's home finding his frenemy sitting on his porch watching the rain.

"Um…excuse me. Lud?" Kili called catching the other teen's attention.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Lud questioned irritably.

"Thank you for the boots," Kili offered as Lud leaned forward to listen, "I can't take them, but I really appreciate the thought. I know that we aren't really friends so this means a lot that you would go through the trouble for me."

"I wouldn't go through trouble for you," Lud grumbled crossing his arms, "Just sick of seeing you limp about like the Pauper Prince. You are feistier when your feet don't hurt all the time. It's taking the fight out of you."

"I guess it is," Kili sighed looking at the boots in his hands, "I'll get newer boots soon enough and can make do until then. I still appreciate the thought behind your offer. Thank you for thinking of me even if it meant just to have a good scrap between us."

Lud threw his hands up in what looked like irritated exasperation. Kili had often wanted to mime that very move within the privacy of his own home when he just…just didn't understand his place within his family. Or more like, he understood his place, but it was not a role he wanted to play. The pet or the…the spare. Not really needed to be about unless for emergencies.

"You can't wear those things much longer," Lud snorted as he pointed at Kili's boots interrupting the silent teen's thoughts, "The boots I gave you really are too small for me and there is no other family member that can wear them. I am the youngest just like you are in your family. Why not keep the ones I gave you?"

"Because the Durin line can stand on their own feet," Thorin said as he walked up behind Kili as the teens jumped in surprise that the older dwarf had snuck up on them so silently, "I thank you for thinking of my nephew, but we do not need the boots from you. You have made me proud to call you a dwarf of my people. You are an honorable lad."

Lud puffed up proudly as Thorin handed the child the boots back.

"You should take these to Master Oin," Thorin continued, "He often comes across families that are in need of some help during rough periods when he treats his patients. These boots would be a great benefit to someone who has none."

"_Tell_ me about it," Kili hissed within his own mind before mentally shaking himself, "Durin line. You are Durin line so no complaints. You can do this."

"I will do that, Lord Thorin," Lud agreed still looking proud at the praise he had received, "I will take the boots to Master Oin and any other clothes that are good enough to pass along."

"Good boy, Lud," Thorin praised, "Kili, let us go now. This weather is getting worse. Bid farewell to your friend."

"Bye, Lud," Kili called, "Thanks again for the thought. See you tomorrow at school."

"See ya," Lud offered seeming to be using good manners with Thorin present before scuttling inside due to a call from his mother.

Thorin led the way as Kili followed silently. He tried to ignore the discomfort of his boots, but the teen's feet were just rubbed raw from wearing the too tight footwear all day long. Kili again pushed down the discomfort while walking beside his uncle as the two made their way beside the market once reaching the main square of Ered Luin.

"Come this way," Thorin instructed turning suddenly which left Kili quite frankly confused, "Hurry up. The clouds are about to pour again."

"Where are we going?" Kili asked in confusion as his uncle led him in a different direction than home, "Uncle?"

"You will need boots," Thorin stated as Kili froze and stopped in the middle of the path, "Nephew?"

"I don't need boots. I'm fine," Kili urged as he shook his head, "I just need to get some more leather and then…."

"No," Thorin interrupted making Kili blink up at him, "I can hear the water sloshing in your boots with each step and you have been limping for a bit of time. I should have gotten you new boots sooner. Let's go to the cobbler's shop now."

"Yes, Sir," Kili agreed.

The teen eagerly followed his uncle. Kili had never really been allowed to go to the market before. Fili had been many times, but not Kili. New things were for the heir and not for the spare. What reason was there to go and look at things that he would never get to have or would inherit second-hand? There was no reason to do so; therefore, Kili hadn't tempted fate by yearning for what he couldn't have. The younger dwarf looked around excitedly and saw vendors selling everything the heart could desire. Seeing dwarven crafts always made Kili proud of being a part of the dwarrow race. He itched to try his hand at some of the trades _and_ be a warrior befitting the Durin line.

"In here," Thorin ordered as Kili hurried over after realizing he had gotten lost within his thoughts again, "Remove your cloak and hand it to me."

Kili was sat on a bench and the shoe cobbler measured his feet and then hissed at the old boots. Thorin saw the state of the soles and shook his head before leaving with a last remark for Kili to listen to the cobbler and remain within the shop.

"Let's warm these feet a bit," Master Padeg decided using a leather cloth to wrap around the teens feet, "I will re-measure your feet once your toes don't look like raisons anymore."

"I forgot to get a fresh pair of socks," Kili lied knowing that he had stopped wearing socks when his boots had gotten too snug ages ago, "I guess I just had a growth spurt, huh?"

"Sure did," the cobbler chuckled, "That is what boys your age do. I do believe that you might actually be taller than your older brother one day."

Kili chatted with the kind dwarf a little more before Padeg got a better measurement of the teen's feet.

"Wow," Kili breathed later as he was fitted for a pair of boots that were warm and gave enough room for him to grow, "These feel so good and look so nice. You make the best boots. Thank you, Mister Padeg."

"You are quite welcome, Lad," the kind cobbler remarked as he threw Kili's old boots into the fire, "I remember making those for your brother. Those were way too small for your feet. Couldn't have been comfortable to wear them."

"I made do," Kili assured as he marveled at having a new pair of boots that nobody else had worn before jumping as Thorin hurried in since the rain was pouring now.

It took all Kili's willpower not to giggle at his uncle. Thorin looked like a wet cat with his braids pouring water.

"Damn, weather," Thorin groused as he took his hood down from his cloak and helped Kili back into his own, worn cloak, "Put this on. Remind me to re-oil this for you. It shouldn't be holding so much dampness."

"Yes, Sir," Kili agreed feeling thrilled that maybe he might not be as wet going to school on rainy days, "Thank you, Uncle."

Kili lavished in the feel of the new boots as Thorin paid Master Padeg. He didn't remember when the last time he had gotten anything from his uncle besides harsh words.

"Thank you so much for my boots," Kili offered as Thorin led him home.

"Welcome," Thorin answered, "Try not to let others see you as a charity case, Kili, you are still a prince of our people."

"Yes, Sir," Kili murmured too happy to have dry feet then to feel rubbed wrong at the accusation of allowing anything since it was not _he_ who got to choose when he was allowed to get anything, "I swear I did not ask Lud to offer those boots."

"I know you didn't," Thorin assured, "Lud…is not a bad child, but you and he are not exactly friends, are you?"

"Not really," Kili snorted, "He was just irritated that I was holding our group back in weapons training with stumbling over my feet. Lud meant well though."

"That he did," Thorin murmured, "Come. I've had enough of this deluge."

Kili felt happier than he had for a long time and had a great evening of playing a board game with Fili until Thorin ordered the older to go study. Kili went to go to his room and heard his mother and uncle start talking softly once they thought they were completely alone. The teen listened in since he was curious.

"The damn boots cost the rest of the coins I earned, Sister," Thorin grumbled as Kili's happiness fled, "I'll have to leave and seek some more work down in the human village. There is simply no other choice."

"I don't like when you do that, Thorin," Dis fretted, "You come back each evening exhausted since they work you like a horse."

"Matters not," Thorin sighed, "If only Kili could have held out a little more, then the spring would be here and with it the garden's vegetables so we would need less monies for food. Lad is growing like a weed."

"I do hope that Lud will not share what he offered to Kili with others," Dis groaned, "I am so shamed right now."

"I don't think he will," Thorin soothed, "Lud is a bit of a bully, but he's not truly evil at heart. He'll straighten out soon enough with maturity, I believe. Kili did not try to be seen as a charity case. I just wished he'd slow that growing of his down a bit."

"Agreed," Dis snorted.

Kili pulled away as he walked back to his room. He just didn't know what to do anymore. He never asked for extra firewood to keep a fire lit in his room like Fili got. He never asked for anything to be bought for him even if he desperately needed something. He didn't go to the market and look at what he couldn't have. He never asked for sweets or special foods. He didn't complain when he was left out of special trainings for Fili. Now his growing up was a problem?

"What to do? What to do?" Kili questioned himself as he paced.

He stopped and gazed into the mirror that had once belonged to Fili. How does one slow growing up? Was there anything that could…oh! Of course.

"I…I'll just eat less," Kili finally decided, "Less food means I won't grow so fast and that means saving monies. I can do that. I can forage in the forest and treat this like a training to be a good soldier. Okay. This is doable. Alright. We'll make do. We _always_ make do."

Kili put his plan into action and started dipping himself his own plates at meals telling his mother that he was old enough to serve himself and help out more in the kitchen. Dis was pleased and Kili used words and actions to disguise how little he was really eating. There were times that his stomach hurt terribly and the teen suffered in silence. He had read that a stomach would eventually shrink and Kili waited for that to happen so he wouldn't ache so much. Eventually, he grew use to the constant feeling of hunger. His mother asked about a month later when she finally noticed that Kili wasn't coming home for lunch anymore.

"You also don't seem to be eating as much supper as you usually do," Dis pointed out looking concerned, "Do you not like my cooking anymore, Kili?"

"I've been packing my own lunches so I don't bother you during the day," Kili lied as his stomach protested from within him, "The lads and I all share our lunches at school these days and I'm so stuffed that I don't need as much dinner at night. That's all it is. Your food is the best, Mother."

Dis looked happier, but Kili missed that Fili looked unconvinced. Fili had been watching his brother for weeks and something seemed off about the whole situation. This was his little brother that could usually eat an entire meal and then eat another meal an hour later. Something wasn't ringing true about Kili's words. Something wasn't ringing true at all.

To be continued…


	3. Chapter 3

**The Spare**

Still enjoying writing some dwarven tales.

This is an AU story. Centers around Thorin and his family. Still adore Thorin, but he is a bit of an ass both in the book and movie. Sorry, Thorin fans, but the dwarf has flaws like us all. This is a tale of mistakes and misunderstandings. A person is never too old to learn from mistakes and we see that not only in Thorin, but also Dis by the end of this tale.

Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

I own nothing.

Chapter Three

Kili put his plan into action and started dipping himself his own plates at meals telling his mother that he was old enough to serve himself and help out more in the kitchen. Dis was pleased and Kili used words and actions to disguise how little he was really eating. There were times that his stomach hurt terribly and the teen suffered in silence. He had read that a stomach would eventually shrink and Kili waited for that to happen so he wouldn't ache so much. Eventually, he grew use to the constant feeling of hunger. His mother asked about a month later when she finally noticed that Kili wasn't coming home for lunch anymore.

"You also don't seem to be eating as much supper as you usually do," Dis pointed out looking concerned, "Do you not like my cooking anymore, Kili?"

"I've been packing my own lunches so I don't bother you during the day," Kili lied as his stomach protested from within him, "The lads and I all share our lunches at school these days and I'm so stuffed that I don't need as much dinner at night. That's all it is. Your food is the best, Mother."

Dis looked happier, but Kili missed that Fili looked unconvinced. Fili had been watching his brother for weeks and something seemed off about the whole situation. This was his little brother that could usually eat an entire meal and then eat another meal an hour later. Something wasn't ringing true about Kili's words. Something wasn't ringing true at all.

"Come in," Kili called at the tap on his door as his brother stuck his head in the door, "Hi, Fee. What's up?"

"I just needed to talk to you for a moment," Fili answered coming in to sit on the bed next to Kili, "Kee, are you okay?"

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?" Kili lied feeling tired and weak.

"You just haven't been your usual loud an annoying self for a few weeks," Fili sighed as Kili squawked indignantly, "Are you _sure_ you are okay? You aren't eating like you usually do and I swear you have lost a little weight. Kee, I want the truth."

"I'm fine, Silly," Kili snorted playing his part well, "I'm just growing some more. Remember that I string bean up before I fill out again. That is how I've always grown. It's darn annoying. Thank goodness the trousers I got from you were a tad too long. Now I won't look like I'm wearing high water pants, huh?"

"I guess so," Fili agreed thinking hard, "You're right. You have always stretched quickly and then filled out later. Why aren't you eating more at breakfast and dinner?"

"I am eating the same breakfast," Kili admitted telling the truth on this part, "Like I said before, I eat a huge lunch and don't need as much for dinner."

"Truth?" Fili questioned as Kili nodded, "Okay. I…I was just a bit worried. You've been so quiet lately."

"Don't worry about me," Kili huffed with a teasing face, "Really, I'm fine. I've just been feeling a lot of changes within myself this year. I'm not a kid anymore and I feel that. I'm growing up and it is all so strange and kind of exciting, you know?"

"I do," Fili chuckled remembering his own growing pains at his brother's age, "You can talk to me about anything you want to, Kee. I'm here for you."

Kili grinned feeling happy that his brother cared so much and he and Fili did end up having a great conversation together. However, late that night things were different. Kili had terrible stomach cramps most evenings. His system needed the nourishment he was denying himself.

"You can do this. You can do this," Kili encouraged himself as he sat up in bed rocking silently, "You can endure anything. Make do. We always make do. Suck it up. Okay. Okay. Pain is passing. It's all good. I think a little more breakfast tomorrow won't hurt. You've saved a lot of coin by not eating so much so a little more food in the morning will be allowed. Just a little."

Kili finally fell asleep and did allow himself to eat more the next morning. Fili seemed pleased to see it and so did their mother. The younger thought he had fooled everyone and he was safe, but Fili was an even better older brother than Kili realized.

"You are a _lying_ son of a _troll_," Fili hissed as he stomped up to his brother when he found Kili alone during lunch break as the teen stared at the livid blonde in shock, "You are _not_ sharing a lunch with your classmates and I've been noticing that you do _not_ pack a lunch at all. You might have Thorin and Mother convinced, but I am not so easily fooled. What aren't you eating? What the hell is going on with you Kili? Answer me!"

"I _am_ eating with friends usually," Kili lied, "Just not today."

"What…I'm…you had better explain yourself right now, Kee!" Fili bristled, "I know that something is up. Spit it out."

"I'm not eating with my friends today since I am doing wilderness training," Kili told a half-truth since he had been going into the woods to find some food when his stomach hurt terribly as his brother looked intrigued, "I've been learning how to scavenge from the forest for black root and hidden nuts. I've started eating and training my body to need less just like a hunter or soldier. How can I be a good warrior if I expect to eat big meals all the time like some fat, spoiled git? I'm okay, Fili. I'm doing everything by the book and it is fascinating to discover all that there is in the forest that can be used for nourishment. I'm totally fine."

"Are you sure, Little Brother?" Fili asked as he sat next to Kili looking a lot calmer, "I don't know if I approve of this. Hunters and soldiers are grown dwarves and you are still just a teen. Kee, you are a growing dwarf and need good food to grow big and have a thick beard."

"I know," Kili grinned out, "I'm being very careful and not allowing myself to starve or nothing. I'll be a _huge_ dwarf with a great beard. Mine will be much thicker than yours."

"Really?" Fili snorted, "My beard will always be longer because its grown five years longer than yours has."

"You…mean thing," Kili spluttered as his brother chuckled, "At least my beard is the color of stone and _not_ the color of an elf's hair."

"I have the color of our father's hair, Brat," Fili snarled tackling Kili as the two wrestled one another, "Elf's hair? Take that back!"

"Never!" Kili growled back, "Elf hair!

"Shortie!"

"I'm going to be taller than you and then you'll be the shortie!"

"Rock-head!"

"Pansy Princeling!"

"You're a prince too, Dunce!"

"Jerk!"

"Troll Dung!

"Orc Spawn!"

Kili's teases threw Fili off the scent and the subject was dropped. The problem was that as time marched on, there was no denying that Kili was losing weight. The teen began hiding the evidence of this by wearing a lot of layers to disguise the fact that he was growing thinner several months later.

"At least these tighter clothes have a purpose now," Kili thought to himself as he layered his clothes, "It is not so obvious that it is clothing filling me out and not true muscle."

However, there were ramifications to Kili's decision to eat less that he hadn't thought about in his youth. The lack of nutrition Kili was causing for himself left him weak and catching a lot of illnesses since his system was not strong enough to fight off the germs. Fili and Dis seemed very worried about this, but Thorin always seemed to be studying Kili with a look of disappointment on his face that left the teen feeling empty inside.

"Have you been playing in puddles again?" Thorin demanded during a small cold that Kili was suffering through.

"I haven't played in puddles since I was a babe," Kili snorted before growing somber at a glare from his uncle, "No, Thorin. I haven't allowed myself to get too wet. There have just been a lot of sicknesses this winter."

"True," Thorin hummed looking deep in thought, "Oin was complaining about that very thing a week ago. Take better care of yourself. Dis worries too much when either of her boys are ill. Get better soon."

"Thank you, Uncle," Kili sighed rolling over to sleep some more while ignoring the thoughts that Thorin seemed more worried for his sister than his nephew.

Kili fought these small illnesses and always healed up fine. The teen was annoyed at the moments of weakness, but felt happier when he heard his mother and uncle talking about how much better their stores of food were lasting this winter. That meant his plan was working. Kili was saving his family coin.

"Thank, Mahal," Kili gushed to himself one evening, "The spare isn't being a burden any longer. It's working. Keep it up."

The teen didn't realize that his lack of eating was making him sick. He was unaware that he was lowering his own immune system which is why he was getting ill all the time. Kili was not old enough to realize how much damage he was doing to his own person. He was so focused on proving his worth to his uncle and mother that he failed to see that he was destroying himself. One, rainy, freezing, day Kili came home from school with another fever which made Dis order her youngest straight to bed.

"Weather like this had been affecting you so much this year," Dis lamented as she placed a cool cloth on her son's forehead, "I don't understand. You usually never get ill. Why are you having so much trouble this year?"

"Just a pretty cold winter this time," Kili soothed as his mother covered him up some more, "I'll be fine. I always am, Mother. I'm a Durin. We are a strong and hardy line."

"That we are," Dis chuckled still looking worried, "Sleep, Kili. I've had enough of these illnesses. I'm about to pull you from school and have you get tutored by Balin like Fili so you aren't walking in this weather any longer. It _is_ a cold winter this year."

"I wouldn't mind learning with Fee," Kili chirped liking that idea very much.

Kili smiled as his mother kissed his forehead before he fell into a light sleep. Running footsteps woke him later and he looked up as his brother burst into the room and made a beeline for the younger. Kili sighed at seeing how worried Fili looked.

"Kili, how are you?" Fili demanded as he sat next to his brother and felt his forehead with a frown, "Mother told me that you are ill again. You are ill constantly this year. Are you doing that stupid wilderness training still?"

"I'm fine and I'm not doing the wilderness training," Kili assured crossing his fingers under his blankets, "I'm just really susceptible to the cold this year is all. How was training with Mister Dwalin and Uncle? Did you learn some good moves?"

Fili relaxed when he realized that his brother's fever was mild and began to relay all the exciting things he learned. Kili also relaxed next to his brother and enjoyed the calm atmosphere. This was when he felt the most loved was when Fili had eyes only for him. He wanted that feeling with his mother and uncle too, but they were very busy trying to keep the household running and also doing their duties of being the head of the Erebor dwarrow. There was little enough time for those two so not enough for the spare.

"Nephew, how are you?" a voice interrupted Fili's story and Kili looked up to see Thorin frowning in the doorway.

"Just a little warm," Kili answered looking down, "The fever should be gone by tomorrow. It was just a cold, wet day today."

"Hmm," Thorin grunted as he turned away, "You having little tolerance to wet and cold means that you would be useless on a long trip. Perhaps I should get you apprenticed out in the forge. The warrior way might not be your calling."

Kili choked at the words. The word "useless" echoed over and over in his mind. Plus, the fact that Thorin was basically saying that he did not have what it took to be a warrior. Would his dreams be taken from him as well? Being an apprentice would also mean leaving his family and having someone else take care of him instead. Was he so looked down upon that giving him away would be fine with Thorin and his mother?

"Uncle, that is harsh!" Fili objected angrily as Kili looked up at his brother's angry words, "Kili is _not_ weak and will be an excellent warrior. He and I practice a lot and he has a lot of potential. Take back your words. That was cruel!"

"Is that what you think?" Kili asked interrupting his brother as he looked up at his uncle, "You think that I am too weak to be a warrior? That I would be…would be useless on a trip with you?"

"I am just stating that everyone has a different calling. Your health seems fragile and so staying within the protection of Ered Luin would be a good choice," Thorin said as Kili stood from the bed despite his brother's protests.

Thorin blinked at the look of hurt Kili gave him. He didn't understand. What had worked his youngest nephew up so much?

"So am I just a burden?" Kili whispered as his uncle's eyes widened in shock, "Is that why you want to give me away?"

"Give you away?" Thorin questioned looking baffled, "Kili, go lay down. You are ill and do not need to be out of bed. Being an apprentice does not mean that I'm suggesting you leave the family. I am not giving you away and neither do I think you a burden."

"Yes you do," Kili denied looking down, "You hate me being here. You only want Fili. You've only ever wanted Fili."

"What?" Fili hissed in shock as Kili remained frozen with his head down.

"I understand. Fili is going to be the best dwarf in the world," Kili sighed keeping his eyes on the floor, "He is so…so Fili. I grow and cost too much coin to keep and so that is why you want to give me away."

"Cost too much coin?" Thorin gaped as he stepped forward, "That is an untruth. You do not cost too much coin. Who told you that? Tell me now. You are one of my two, precious nephews. You cost what you need to cost just like any dwarfling does. Who has told you this untruth? Who, Kili? Did you tell him that, Fili?"

"No, I did not!" Fili snarled, "Who told you that, Kili?"

"I've tried so hard," Kili whimpered as tears built as he ignored his uncle and brother while both froze, "I've limited my eating and I don't ask for anything. I don't fight with my classmates when they say I'm not a proper dwarf because my hair has no braids since clips are too expensive to buy. You hardly allow me any time to spend with Fili because he always has to study or train with you. None of the clothes I am given ever fit and you denied me even a Begetting day present from my only brother. Now I can't be a warrior? I know that I'm just the spare, but do you have to take _everything_ away?"

"You haven't been eating?" Thorin gasped looking horrified, "Kili…."

"I don't care anymore! Leave me alone!" Kili shouted interrupting whatever Thorin was going to say as the teen suddenly ran from the room while his uncle and brother gave chase.

"Stop, Kili!" Thorin yelled as the boy tore down the stairs, "Stop!"

"Kili, wait!" Fili yelled as Kili skidded past his confused mother and ran out into the rain in only a thin nightshirt with bare feet_, "Kili!"_

To be continued…


	4. Chapter 4

**The Spare**

Still enjoying writing some dwarven tales.

This is an AU story. Centers around Thorin and his family. Still adore Thorin, but he is a bit of an ass both in the book and movie. Sorry, Thorin fans, but the dwarf has flaws like us all. This is a tale of mistakes and misunderstandings. A person is never too old to learn from mistakes and we see that not only in Thorin, but also Dis by the end of this tale.

Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

I own nothing.

Chapter Four

"You haven't been eating?" Thorin gasped looking horrified, "Kili…."

"I don't care anymore! Leave me alone!" Kili shouted interrupting whatever Thorin was going to say as the teen suddenly ran from the room while his uncle and brother gave chase.

"Stop, Kili!" Thorin yelled as the boy tore down the stairs, "Stop!"

"Kili, wait!" Fili yelled as Kili skidded past his confused mother and ran out into the rain in only a thin nightshirt with bare feet_, "Kili!"_

Dis blinked at having seen her youngest son run out into the rain without boots or proper clothing. What in the world? The dam turned sharply to her remaining family. She wanted answers and she wanted them now.

"Thorin, tell me what's going on right now. Where is Kili going? What has happened?" Dis demanded as Thorin raced by with Fili close on his heels.

"A mistake," Thorin yelled over his shoulder as he and Fili ran after the youngest already pulling on their cloaks, "We'll get Kili and then I'll explain everything. Remain here in case your son returns. Get him into bed immediately if Kili comes back. Fili, wait for me."

"I'll _not_," Fili snarled racing outside shouting his brother's name as his uncle cursed and chased after him, "Kili! Kili, come back!"

"His tracks lead that way," Thorin called as Fili veered in the right direction, "Kili, where are you? Answer me!"

There was no answer from the boy. Thorin grumbled at the freezing weather. It would have been easier to track Kili if the damn rain wasn't washing his prints away. Fili and he were only able to really determine that the teen had taken off into the woods. However, once in the woods, the two realized that getting Kili was not something that was going to be easy to do. Neither knew that Kili had memorized the local woods in his foraging treks and knew how to hide.

"Kili!" Fili yelled as he searched frantically for his brother, "Kili, answer me! Where are you, Brother? Kili!"

"Stop tramping about," Thorin ordered still trying to look for any tracks to find the boy in the deluge, "Calm down."

Fili cursed then and made Thorin look up in shock at the vile words that spewed from his nephew's lips.

"Calm down?" Fili hissed angrily as he rounded on his uncle, "You ask me to calm down when my little brother is feverish and out in rain without even a cloak or proper clothing? How dare you tell me that! This is your entire fault! No. This is both your and Mother's fault!"

"Placing blame is not going to help us find Kili. He needs to be found now since he is not properly dressed as you just mentioned," Thorin reminded standing stiffly in his outrage, "The fault lies with the one that told Kili that he costs too much coin. I will find who that is and he or she will be properly punished for saying untruths to an impressionable child."

"You are wrong," Fili snarled as Thorin backed up a step at the look of complete rage on his nephew's face, "The one, or rather _ones,_ that told Kili he cost too much coin is you and Mother with how he has been treated. When was the last time you two bought Kili anything besides those boots? When, Thorin? Food doesn't count. _When_?"

Thorin blinked as he thought back. He blinked again when he continued to think and couldn't remember the last time he had actually purchased anything for his younger nephew. Bah! They didn't have time for trips down memory lane. Kili needed to be found.

"He is the youngest," Thorin argued finally returning to moving forward in his search, "Younger siblings always get hand me downs. It is part of being born after other brothers or sisters. My younger brother also inherited things from me just like Kili inherits things from you."

"You cannot tell me that Uncle Frerin inherited _all_ of his possessions from you," Fili denied looking livid as he stepped purposely in Thorin's path to stop him, "Kili has nothing that didn't belong to me first and they are never in good shape. There are dwarflings with less than what our family has that still look better than poor Kee at times. I realize that monies are harder to come by here in Ered Luin compared to Erebor, but I never have to do without. Kili _always_ does without and _never_ complains about any of it."

"Dis and I provide a good home for you and Kili," Thorin insisted as Fili huffed, "I work my fingers to the bone to provide for everyone and you know that your mother makes beaded jewelry that I sell in the villages of Men that I travel to in order to help with expenses.."

"I am not saying you and Mother do not work hard," Fili spat, "I am saying that monies have not been used fairly between Kili and I. Mahal, Thorin. An example of what I am saying is the state of Kili's old boots. _My_ boots are never allowed to get to the point that Kee's did and then you and Mother yelled at him for others seeing what you did not choose to notice. Durin's beard, don't you see how neglected Kili has been? You wouldn't even allow him to keep the one, real present he got for his Begetting Day. Did you even get him a Begetting Day present this year at all? I got a new sword for _my_ Begetting Day. What did Kili get from you or Mother? Cast-offs? Mended clothes with no real meaning at all? Is that all Kili means to you and Mother?"

Thorin swallowed uncomfortably as he began to finally put two and two together. He hadn't gotten Kili anything for the anniversary of his day of birth. In fact, with the pressures of leading their people, training Fili, supporting the family, and having to work all over Middle-Earth, Thorin realized that Kili had been forgotten not only by himself, but by Dis as well. The poor lad probably felt as much a cast-off as the rest of his belongings.

"Mahal," Thorin breathed to himself as regret bit at his heart, "I never intended for any of this. I didn't mean to hurt Kili."

"Hurt him? You've practically destroyed him," Fili snapped still searching with his eyes for any trace of his brother, "I've hated how you and Mother have been treating Kili for years. Every single time I try to make amends for the neglect you two have done then you and Mother tell me to stop spoiling Kee. Spoiled? How can he be spoiled when he gets _nothing_ at all. My brother used to be so happy and cheerful and now he tiptoes around the house as if he is afraid to be seen. I've seen how you glare at him sometimes. I know times are tough, but Kili is being treated like he isn't even a part of the family!"

"I know that now!" Thorin hissed back looking guilty, "I didn't realize it until it was pointed out to me by you and your brother. Dis and I have been trying to prepare you for your role as heir and keep our people safe, but Kili got lost in the shuffle of things. He is not a spare in my eyes. I never meant to make your brother feel like a burden or not a part of our line and you know that your mother would never want either of her boys to feel that way."

"Well, you and Mother _did _make Kili feel that way," Fili groaned looking away, "Kee has no friends because the dwarflings all think that there is something wrong with him since not even his family treats him well. My old clothes don't fit him and he always looks so sad and lonely. It hurts to watch my brother suffer so much and have no means to help him at all. Kili is called the 'Pauper Prince' by his classmates."

"How dare they!" Thorin barked looking outraged before turning in confusion as Fili snorted with derision.

"How dare _they_?" Fili questioned, "How dare you _and_ Mother open Kili up to those types of insults. How dare you make my younger brother feel the way you have. I am so angry…I just…I am done. I'm done with this, Thorin. I won't be your heir any longer. If you can't love my little brother as much as you love me then go on your way with Mother. I will take care of my little brother by myself without _either_ of you. I won't allow this anymore. Kili is precious to me and you all just keep hurting him over and over again. Find someone else to bully."

Thorin gaped when Fili took off yelling for his brother on his own. What had just happened? Fili was the heir. He couldn't just give up his title at a whim. Could he?

"Whim?" Thorin questioned himself within his mind, "No. Kili is not a whim. Fili knows exactly what he is saying and doing, Fool."

"I'm so _glad_ Fili said that to you," a voice called out as Balin walked over with his brother following, "About time you heard some truths that needed to be said."

"Balin?" Thorin gasped in surprise.

"Aye, it's me," Balin agreed, "I can't believe that we are out in this weather to search for an ill child thanks to your mouth, Thorin. You are not often wrong, but you and your sister have been woefully wrong for quite some time and I wish that I had seen that sooner to tell you off before we got into the situation we are in now. I am ashamed of you both. You and Dis were raised better than this. Shame on you!"

"I'm usually on your side, Thorin, but not this time," Dwalin grumbled as he folded his arms over his chest, "If I had been aware of this stupidity, I would have called you out on the treatment of Kili immediately. Brilliant results of your actions, Thorin. Did you even think?"

Thorin groaned at being chastised like a child, but had no excuses for his hand in the current events. How could he have been so stupid and not seen what was right in front of his face? Wait. How did Balin and Dwalin know what was going on?

"How did you know to come here?" Thorin asked as he turned back to follow the direction his eldest nephew has gone while Balin and Dwalin hurried after him.

"Dis ran and fetched us in a right state of panic," Dwalin grunted, "Could hardly understand what she was saying and only Balin could calm her down a bit. Told us that Kili ran off into this infernal weather upset and ill in just a nightshirt. So the lads sick?"

"More than you know," Thorin agreed with a grimace, "What I took for a weakness in Kili for cold weather was actually Kili half starving himself for who knows how long in hopes of saving our House monies. Got it into his head that he cost his family too much and that has a lot to do with Dis and I being absolute idiots. The illnesses he has had over the last few months were because his system was too weak to fight off anything."

"The boy's been starving himself?" Balin gasped looking horrified, "Mahal! He's ill in this weather without proper clothing on? Thorin Oakenshield, I should take a switch to your legs and do the same to Dis!"

"I'd allow it and so would Dis," Thorin sighed, "I've mucked up badly and I need to set everything right. Spread out. Kili is too weak to have gotten far."

The three went to spread out when a hoarse shout of obvious horror caught their attention. Thorin charged forward while he pushed through some bushes. He froze at the sight of Fili cradling his brother's limp form in his arms as the elder sat on the ground in a small clearing.

"Dear Mahal," Thorin whispered eyeing Kili in shock.

The soaked nightshirt had plastered itself against Kili's frame and Thorin cursed viciously when he realized he could see every rib and that the boy was no longer conscious.

"By my beard," Balin murmured as the spell broke and Thorin knelt down and reached frantically for Kili.

"Leave him alone!" Fili snarled as he pulled Kili closer, "Don't touch him! You've done enough to him!"

Fili grunted as Thorin pushed him back while grabbing for his brother.

"Not now," Thorin hissed as he yanked Kili into his arms despite Fili's struggling, "I _have_ done enough as you say, but for right now let's get your brother home and into bed. Dwalin, run at your greatest speed and fetch Oin. Kili's burning up!"

"Hurry, Dwalin," Balin ordered as the tall dwarf turned and bolted like fire was on his heels, "Cover the lad up, Thorin. Let's move it. Fili, get up. Let's go."

Thorin tore off his cloak and wrapped Kili up before hurrying towards home with Balin and Fili following behind. The older dwarf glanced down to Kili's pale face and wanted to take an axe to his own head. He had been a fool. Time seemed to crawl by as he tried to get his feet to go faster.

"What have I done?" Thorin groaned to himself as he cradled Kili against him, "Mahal, I did not mean to allow this. I swear I didn't. Give me the strength to move faster. Kili is far too young to lose him to your Halls, Mahal."

Thorin didn't know if it was Mahal or himself, but he dredged up enough energy to put on an extra burst of speed. It did nothing to make him feel better that Kili was totally limp within his arms. How could he have been so stupid?

"What has happened?" Dis demanded for the second time in the day as he burst in through the front door and then she inhaled sharply at seeing her son's pale, unconscious face, "Kili! What has happened to my child? Thorin?!"

"Is there a fire lit in Kili's room?" Thorin asked sharply ignoring his sister's questions.

Dis startled at the question and came to the realization that she honestly did not know. In fact, she was even more startled to realize that she didn't remember when the last time she had ever stoked a fire within her youngest son's room.

"I-I don't know," Dis admitted reaching to brush wet hair from Kili's face, "He's burning up! What is going on? Why did Kili run out into the rain?"

"Not _now_, Mother. Put Kee in my room," Fili ordered as he charged in, "There is always a fire lit in mine. Hurry up!"

Thorin laid Kili in his brother's bed after having dried off his youngest nephew and assisted him into a fresh nightshirt. Dis burst into tears when she saw how thin Kili had allowed himself to become.

"Why is my boy so thin?" Dis demanded as she swiped at her watering eyes while her hands shook in panic.

"Ask your brother," Fili bit out as Dis looked at her eldest in shock, "I'm sure Thorin can enlighten you on what you two have done."

"What we have done?" Dis echoed in confusion, "Fili, I don't understand."

"Of course not," Fili growled like an angry animal as he hovered near his brother, "All I am hearing is 'I didn't know' or 'I don't understand.' If any of you had thought harder we wouldn't be here with…with Kee like this."

"Fili, calm down," Balin tried as the teen breathed hard, "Dwalin is bringing Oin. Kili will be fine with good care."

"How do you know that?" Fili whispered pointing to Kili before pointing an accusing finger towards Thorin and Dis, "He's sick because _they_ hurt him! It's their fault!"

"What is my fault?" Dis questioned looking ready to break, "What have I done to Kili? How did I hurt him? Tell me so I can make this right."

"Fili, you are upsetting your mother," Thorin pointed out as Fili hissed in absolute rage.

"Get out," Fili snarled as Dis stilled and Thorin looked up sharply, "Leave us! Get out of my room."

"I understand that you are angry, but do not talk to your elders like that," Thorin instructed before jumping back as a dagger imbedded itself next to his head in the doorframe leaving a thin trail of blood at his temple, "Fili! Stop that!"

"Get out of my room and away from my brother," Fili snarled as Dis hurried over to her own brother to see if he was hurt, "You two have done enough. I will care for Kili on my own."

"Fili…," Dis began before gasping when her eldest slammed his door in her face before turning to stare at her brother, "Tell me _everything_, Thorin."

To be continued…


	5. Chapter 5

**The Spare**

Still enjoying writing some dwarven tales.

This is an AU story. Centers around Thorin and his family. Still adore Thorin, but he is a bit of an ass both in the book and movie. Sorry, Thorin fans, but the dwarf has flaws like us all. This is a tale of mistakes and misunderstandings. A person is never too old to learn from mistakes and we see that not only in Thorin, but also Dis by the end of this tale.

Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

I own nothing.

Chapter Five

"Get out," Fili snarled as Dis stilled and Thorin looked up sharply, "Leave us! Get out of my room."

"I understand that you are angry, but do not talk to your elders like that," Thorin instructed before jumping back as a dagger imbedded itself next to his head in the doorframe leaving a thin trail of blood at his temple, "Fili! Stop that!"

"Get out of my room and away from my brother," Fili snarled as Dis hurried over to her own brother to see if he was hurt, "You two have done enough. I will care for Kili on my own."

"Fili…," Dis began before gasping when her eldest slammed his door in her face before turning to stare at her brother, "Tell me _everything_, Thorin."

Thorin blinked out of his frozen state and leaned against the wall as Balin and Dis listened to the day's events that tumbled from his lips.

"Then Fili refused to be the heir any longer since I haven't shown that I love Kili as much as I love him," Thorin sighed as he began to finish up the tale, "Told me that you and I could find someone else to bully. Balin and Dwalin basically said the same. I never realized how different we were treating the boys, Dis. We've been awful."

Dis trembled in place as she realized that Fili had been correct. She and Thorin had been treating Kili so very differently that it could have been perceived as if Thorin and she thought of the boy as an imposition.

"I…I never realized…I didn't mean too," Dis stuttered as tears stained her cheeks before knocking on the door, "Fili, Darling, Momma's so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt Kili. Please let me back in. Let me help you care for Kee. Allow me to make everything up to your brother. Your uncle and I didn't realize how hurtful we were being. Please let me in."

"Go _away_!" Fili yelled through the door, "I'll only let Balin and Oin in here. You and Thorin can go jump in a fire for all I care!"

Dis froze in horror at her eldest son's words. Fili had his father's temper. Her husband had been the calmest dwarf usually; that is, until you hurt what he cared for and then the battle was on. There was no getting through to Fili right now until he calmed down.

"What have I done?" Dis moaned looking ready to break, "My Kili. My sweet Kili. Mahal, I didn't mean to hurt him. I got so involved in helping our people settle and keeping our household going that I…I forgot one of my sons. How am I going to face my husband when I see him in Mahal's Halls? Thorin, he'll hate me for hurting our child so."

"Vili could never hate you, Dis. You hopefully will have the rest of your time on Middle-Earth making this up to both your sons and then your husband will forgive you," Thorin soothed, "It is I that Vili is going to tear into once I reach Mahal's Halls. I swore to him that I'd protect his boys upon his death bed. I have failed on so many levels. I've been a fool."

"You and Dis have a lot to make amends for, Thorin. I hope you two will have the opportunity to make this up to Kili. Let me through. Fili is going to need help caring for the little one," Balin sighed as he knocked and was allowed inside once Fili realized that it was Balin asking for admittance.

Dis whimpered and slid to the floor as Thorin kneeled beside her.

"What have I done?" Dis moaned once again as Thorin looked at her sadly, "Brother? What have _we_ done?"

"A great wrong, Sister," Thorin admitted as Oin came around the corner and spared no glance for the two siblings, but ordered for the door to be opened to see to Kili which was allowed immediately, "Dis, I fear we fell into the same behavior that our father did to both me and Frerin. Don't you see? We've repeated the pattern. Frerin at least had our mother and us to go to for comfort, but who did Kili have to go to? I kept Fili from him to train the boy and you were swamped with all your duties. I've been an ass just like our father was to our brother. I am so ashamed."

"As am I," Dis sniffled, "Mahal! I swore that I'd never allow someone to feel as bad as Frerin did when Father ignored and belittled him over you. You swore that oath too. How did we forget that? How did we not see the same damage in Kili that Frerin had within him for so long? Frerin had time to heal from that hurt. What if Kili…I can't say it. I _can't_."

"I don't know how we forgot," Thorin groaned looking up at the ceiling, "You are right. Kili is exhibiting the same characteristics of his uncle before Mother finally put her foot down. The silence, the lack of fight, and fear to be noticed was all within Kili and I missed it. I missed that Kili's very soul was straining under the weight of neglect. We've been right idiots, Sister. I only hope that Kili is not so far gone that you and I will not be able to make this right."

"The lad is strong," Dwalin assured as he came around the corner where he most have been listening in on their conversation, "I'm sure you and Lady Dis will have the opportunity to fix this mess. Kili has bounced back from illnesses before and been fine."

"You forget that he's not at his strongest," Thorin reminded with a grimace as Dis whimpered again, "Kili's been starving himself thinking that he had to try and save monies by eating less. The lad is skin and bones."

"How did no one see that was the case?" Dwalin pushed looking troubled.

"Kili must have been layering his clothes," Dis breathed looking into her lap at her tightly clenched fists, "His clothes…those hand me downs have never really fit him right to begin with and the layers disguised his weight loss. I am so _angry_ with myself."

Dwalin bit his lip as he gazed with disappointment at Thorin.

"You don't have to put words to it," Thorin pointed out as he stood from the floor, "I know what you are feeling. I've been so…so…stupid. I've been a right stupid ass and now Kili is suffering because of it. Damn me!"

"Perhaps we are working ourselves up over nothing," Dwalin suggested, "Maybe Kili just needs to get warmed up and some good food fed to him and he'll be fine. Dwarflings can rally in amazing ways. He's young and stubborn just like his father, mother, and uncle."

"I pray that is the case," Dis agreed as she too stood, "I can't lose my youngest son too. I've lost too much in my lifetime. I can't lose my boy."

There were no more words to say after that. Unfortunately, there weren't any ways of unraveling Mahal's plans since it was Mahal himself who decided the course of events. Silence reined as Thorin paced nervously with Dis staring at Fili's door as they all waited to hear of Kili's condition. Everyone startled when Oin opened the door and stepped out grimly some time later.

"How is he?" Dis immediately asked as the healer sighed, "Oin, how is Kili? Is he going to be okay?"

"I don't have good news for you. I wish I did, but I don't. The boy has pneumonia," Oin informed everyone as Dis paled more so, "His lungs are filling with fluid."

Thorin cursed viciously as Dwalin closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I don't have time for this," Oin snapped as everyone focused back on him again, "I need some boiled water prepared for Kili's medicine and lots of firewood to keep the fire stoked. I'm not going to lie to you. Kili is grossly underweight and he may not have the strength to pull through. Fili and Balin let me know how the lad got this way and I am appalled that this went on as long as it did. Get me what I need so that Kili has the best chance to pull through this."

"Lose Kili? Not my baby," Dis gasped before shaking herself and standing up straighter, "I'll get the water. Thorin you get every damn stick of firewood you can even if you have to strip the whole damn mountain. My son is _not_ going to die!"

"On it," Thorin agreed as he and Dwalin hurried away to chop some wood.

Oin shook his head and went back to watch over Kili. Fili was ordered to leave since the healer was afraid that the eldest would catch the sickness, but Fili snarled and cursed so vilely that Oin backed off and left the lad alone. Fili was able to get the medicine and some broth into his brother with Balin's help, but Kili didn't wake.

"Pneumonia is a hard illness to shake," Oin advised as Fili fretted over the ill teen, "All we can do is try to help him eat and keep him calm in hopes that he can fight this off."

"He'll fight it off," Fili insisted looking up angrily at the healer as Balin and Oin exchanged looks, "Kili won't leave me. I won't let him. Kili, I'm here now. No one is going to treat you badly anymore. You just rest and stay with me. You'll be fine. Everything is going to be fine now. Rest, Little Brother. I'm right here."

"Kili's chances?" Balin whispered to Oin as Fili continued talking softly to his brother.

"Not good," Oin admitted, "He's been dealing with what is called walking pneumonia for a while. The run in freezing rain chilled the lad down to the point that the illness became a full blown case of pneumonia. He's so thin, Balin. I just don't know."

"Let's just pray that Fili can get through to his brother," Balin breathed looking sadly at the two boys, "Kili and Fili move mountains for one another. The lad needs his older brother near. Don't try to send Fili away again. I have a feeling that it is Fili that will be the deciding factor of whether Kili remains with us or not."

"Agreed," Oin nodded out.

Fili attended to his brother diligently as fever dreams and chills wracked Kili's smaller frame on a daily basis while the ailing teen remained in the sickness sleep. It was Fili that pounded lightly on his brother's back to help him spit up the fluid in his lungs. Dis had been making broths that only Fili was able to manipulate down his brother's throat. Fili was the one that kept his brother cleaned and the fire stoked to keep the ill teen warm. All Fili's focus remained on Kili to try and give the lad every opportunity to get better and the whole time Thorin and Dis was banned from seeing Kili at all.

One week led into two and then finally a month had gone by with little change for the youngest Durin. Everyday Balin reported to Thorin and Dis on Kili's health. The two, oldest Durin's did everything they could from afar to help in Kili's recovery. Dis cooked the healthiest foods you could make for the ill and Thorin kept the firewood stocked and fetched any healing herbs that Oin needed. The two prayed all the time for a miracle to help Kili get better. Kili just seemed to get worse and worse.

Fili didn't whine or give up. He fought on and did all that he could to lend Kili as much strength as possible to get better. The younger would rally and then take another turn for the worse. More than once, Kili's fever grew so high that Fili feared that he would soon be an only child.

"Don't leave me, Kee," Fili sobbed as he rocked his unconscious brother during one of the worst spells, "I can't lose you. Stay with me. You can't leave me. I swear everything will be so different when you wake again. You don't have to suffer any longer. Uncle and Mother were so wrong to treat you the way they did. Wake up so I can show you how much better life is going to be. Mahal, Kili, don't give up. Please, Kili."

"Stay strong, Child," Balin comforted as he placed a hand on Fili's shoulder, "Oin says he has never seen someone rally as many times as Kili has. Your brother is trying very hard to live. Won't you at least allow your mother inside?"

"No!" Fili snapped glaring up at Balin as he hugged his brother closer.

"Fili, Lady Dis sleeps on a pallet right outside the door trying to be as close to both of you as possible," Balin admitted as the teen paused and glanced back up at him, "She loves both of her sons very much and made a mistake."

"A mistake that has led to this," Fili snapped as he stroked his brother's sweaty face.

"You are correct," Balin agreed, "And she and your uncle are suffering greatly for that, but…but Kili might feel better sensing his mother near. Lad, all beings draw strength from their mothers. It's worth a try. Kili's getting weaker."

Fili stared ahead for a few minutes before nodding his head finally. Balin turned to get the dam and Dis practically flew to be by her children's side. Fili reluctantly allowed his mother to cradle Kili in her arms as Thorin watched from the doorway knowing that he wasn't welcomed inside.

"He's so warm," Dis lamented as she felt her child's forehead before reaching for a rag in a bowl of water next to the bed and gently sponging Kili's face and neck, "There we go, Love, Momma's here. I'm going to make you feel better now. Listen to Momma as she cares for her Kili so you can find your way home. It's time to come home to us, Love."

Fili listened as his mother began to sing for Kili as she worked at trying to cool his fever down. The eldest sighed. The chills, the coughing, the fever, and how light his brother felt were wearing him down. Fili couldn't imagine a life without Kili and the fear stayed tight within his chest.

"Would…would you like me to get another nightshirt for the lad?" Thorin hesitantly asked as Fili looked up, "All of that sweat has probably left Kili's nightshirt pretty damp. Your mother has a nice clean one ready for your brother."

"Yes. A fresh nightshirt would make Kili feel better," Fili clipped out as Thorin turned to leave while Oin and Balin exchanged unhappy looks at the broken relationships that were quite evident in the Durin home.

Both Fili and Dis worked through the night to care for Kili and by the next morning the teen's fever had come down enough that he wasn't in immediate danger. Dis watched as Fili coaxed Kili's medicine down his brother's throat as the younger coughed lightly.

"Fee?" Kili asked as his brother's eyes widened because this was the first words since that horrible night.

"I'm here, Kee," Fili sighed as he stroked his brother's soft hair, "Everything is okay. Do you need something?"

"Am I dead yet?" Kili asked as Fili, Dis, and Thorin, standing in the doorway, choked up.

"No, Baby, you're here with your Fili," Fili explained as Kili's eyes opened and blinked blurrily up at him before closing them again, "You are not going to die, Kee."

"I should go," Kili murmured half asleep, "I can be with Father and not cost anyone coins anymore."

"Not true," Thorin stated as he came into the room despite Fili's glare, "If you left to be with your father then I'd have to go and destroy Smaug to use the Erebor riches to bribe Mahal to bring my nephew back. Durins stick together. I would spend every coin, every jewel, every drop of gold in Middle-Earth to get you home again."

Fili blinked up at his uncle before watching his little brother's eyes opening and looking up at Thorin in surprise.

"I am so sorry, Nephew," Thorin breathed as he took one of Kili's hand in his, "I've been a lame-brained, backstabbing elf to you."

Fili cracked a grin as Kee giggled slightly at their uncle's words. Thorin must truly mean it because calling someone as elf in his book was the worst insult of all.

"Can you ever forgive your mother and I for being fools?" Thorin asked as Kili's eyes drooped.

"My brother and I will consider the matter," Fili curtly replied as he pulled Kili's hand from Thorin and made a shooing motion as the youngest drifted back to sleep, "We'll get back to you on that subject. I have some thinking to do. I want you and Mother out of here."

Thorin nodded and stepped back as Dis also stood. Neither wanted to risk making Fili angry again since he had finally allowed his mother to enter his domain. A glance at Balin, by Thorin, had the dwarf hurrying over and urging Fili to get some sleep with Kili since the eldest looked about ready to fall over.

"Kili's chances of surviving this is getting better," Oin advised once Fili and Kili both slept soundly, "Fili is the reason why Kili has been holding on so hard. If that lad hadn't gotten some good nutrients into his brother, Kili would have died early on."

"I'll feel better once the fever has broken," Dis declared sadly, "I'm tired of seeing and hearing my child as he is now. I'm sick of sweating foreheads, easily seen ribs, and weakened movements. I pray to any who listens to me. Please help my baby live. Please."

To be continued…


	6. Chapter 6

**The Spare**

Still enjoying writing some dwarven tales.

This is an AU story. Centers around Thorin and his family. Still adore Thorin, but he is a bit of an ass both in the book and movie. Sorry, Thorin fans, but the dwarf has flaws like us all. This is a tale of mistakes and misunderstandings. A person is never too old to learn from mistakes and we see that not only in Thorin, but also Dis by the end of this tale.

Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

I own nothing.

Chapter Six

"Kili's chances of surviving this is getting better," Oin advised once Fili and Kili both slept soundly, "Fili is the reason why Kili has been holding on so hard. If that lad hadn't gotten some good nutrients into his brother, Kili would have died early on."

"I'll feel better once the fever has broken," Dis declared sadly, "I'm tired of seeing and hearing my child as he is now. I'm sick of sweating foreheads, easily seen ribs, and weakened movements. I pray to any who listens to me. Please help my baby live. Please."

Dis' prayers were answered a week later when Kili's fever finally broke. Fili wept like a baby in his relief when his brother finally fell into a sleep that wasn't plagued by fever dreams. Balin was even able to persuade the lad to take a bath in his mother's room in a tub instead of out of a bowl.

"I don't need you watching me," Fili grumped as he settled in the tub while Thorin stayed in the doorway, "I'm not a small child that will drown."

"You are an exhausted older brother who may fall asleep in the tub and drown," Thorin denied as he sighed, "I'm very proud of you, Fili. Your brother wouldn't have fought this fever without you there. I am proud to have you as my heir."

"I already told you that I am done with that business," Fili snorted as he lathered his filthy locks.

"You said that you were done with that business if I couldn't love your brother as I love you," Thorin argued as Fili looked over at him in surprise, "I love Kili just as much as I love you. I'm just sorry that I had to nearly lose the child and then see how horrible I have been to know that I haven't shown him how much he is loved. I swear I never thought of Kili as 'the spare.'"

"I don't know what to think," Fili stated before ducking under the water to rinse his hair and coming back up to look over at his uncle, "I've been so proud to be by your side, but what kind of leader are you to treat your own kin this way?"

"A pretty lousy one," Thorin agreed, "I need you as my heir to make sure that I never act so foolishly again, but as for Kili, I will do anything in my power to show that lad that I love and care for him very much. I was a fool and the sad thing is that I've seen this happen before."

"What?" Fili asked looking up at Thorin in confusion.

"My father…my father was a great dwarf, but he was trained from childhood to be the heir to the throne of Erebor. He had a gentleness about him at times, but usually he was stoic and almost cold," Thorin began as Fili continued to listen, "He was proud of me and trained me as he had been trained to be his heir one day. Then Frerin was born and later your mother."

"How does this apply to Kili?" Fili demanded as Thorin sighed.

"Father grew cold with my little brother. Frerin was treated as less and always held up to act by standards that had been set up by me," Thorin continued, "Frerin was not me and had alternate ways of accomplishing tasks that led to the same positive results that I accomplished, but Father was cruel to Frerin. Berated him or ignored him for years. Frerin suffered alone, but Dis and I saw the harm done to our brother and rallied around your uncle. I missed the same signs of neglect that Kili showed that Frerin also exhibited. I've been a right ass."

"You have been," Fili growled looking away before pausing, "What happened to Uncle Frerin? Did Grandfather ever stop his cruelty to him?"

"He did after Mother wacked him upside the head with Oin's iron staff," Thorin snorted as Fili looked back up at him in shock, "Father woke up and really listened to all of us for the first time in years. He realized his mistakes and he and Frerin developed a very strong bond together. Your mother and I want to heal our family and do the same with Kili."

Fili regarded his uncle thoughtfully.

"I will be your heir as long as that is what Kee wants," Fili decided as he turned away, "I will have to think if I want you near my brother at the moment. I wasn't lying when I said that I would take care of Kili on my own. You and Mother no longer have a say in what Kili needs. That is my job now. Now get out. It is kind of creepy to bathe in front of you."

Thorin snorted once again and closed the door behind him. Dis stood beside him and the two siblings exchanged looks. There would be a steep hill to climb to earn Fili's trust again. Thorin decided to start with Kili's room. The elder Durin pulled out all of Kili's clothes and glared angrily when he noticed for the first time that the pieces were old and nearly rag-worthy.

"What are you doing?" Balin asked as Thorin angrily threw the clothes piece by piece into the living room fireplace.

"I'm getting rid of things that shouldn't ever have been given to Kili in the first place," Thorin snapped irritably as he chucked Kili's cloak into the fire, "Forgive my tone, Friend, I'm angry at myself and not you."

"Anger can lead to change," Balin hummed as Thorin nodded, "Anger is what helped your mother stand up to your father over Frerin's treatment, as you recall. It's going to take a lot of coin to replace a whole wardrobe."

"Good thing that I sold a large supply of weapons then," Thorin agreed as he sat up, "Some rangers came through and made the purchase yesterday. Kili will need new clothes. The boots can stay, but the bedding and worn out weapons have to go. It's time for Kili to know that he is a very important part of this family too."

"Good," Balin sighed, "Let me help."

Soon Balin, Thorin, and Dwalin had Kili's room cleared out in time for Bofur to finish the lad's new bed. Fili watched everything carefully and even went to the market with Thorin to pick Kili out some new bedding and curtains. Thorin also gave Fili a pouch of coins and had him pick out some hairclips and beads for his brother.

"Gifts don't change anything," Fili declared as he walked back home with his uncle.

"Gifts shouldn't," Thorin agreed as he carried the bedding, "These are not gifts. These are long overdue items that should have been given to your brother long ago. Making everything right again will take time."

"We'll see," Fili snorted as he hurried past his mother and to Kili's side as Thorin followed and hovered once again in the doorway, "Look what I got you, Kee."

Kili's eyes opened and he shifted to look bright eyed at the new hair ornaments before frowning and pulling away fearfully.

"Did you spend coins that were meant for something else again?" Kili asked anxiously before settling as his brother soothed him, "I love them, Fee."

Later that night, Fili hovered nervously as Dwalin lifted his brother's slight form and walked him to Kili's remade room.

"Whoa," Kili breathed as he looked around in wonder to see his new furniture, brightly burning fire, and soft new bedding, "Where did this come from?"

"Your uncle has been working night and day to get your room set up," Dwalin bragged as he lowered Kili onto his new bed while Fili covered him up in a soft blanket, "Fili picked out the bedding."

"I love blue," Kili chirped as he snuggled down into the soft sheets.

"I know you do," Fili chuckled as his brother asked Dwalin to tell his uncle "thank you," "Oin says that it is time to eat more solid foods than broth. Mother made mutton stew which is your favorite. I'll be right back."

Thorin and Dis watched as Fili coaxed Kili into eating a small bowl of stew. Oin had decided that Kili would eat several small meals in a day to work on gaining his lost weight and strength. Little by little Kili ate and grew stronger and fleshed out more as his brother cared for him and kept him entertained. Fili even began allowing his mother and uncle to have some interaction with his brother under watchful eyes.

"I knitted you a hat, Love," Dis grinned out as she sat next to Kili on his bed, "Let's see how it fits."

Kili allowed his mother to put the hat on his head and grinned when she held up a hand mirror for him to look.

"Thank you," Kili shyly offered as he admired the bright, red cap, "I like it."

"Looks good on you," Thorin agreed from the end of Kili's bed, "Will keep the chill away so there won't be a fear of relapse. How are you feeling?"

"Better," Kili muttered feeling a little nervous of his uncle.

"Do you wish for me to leave?" Thorin asked stilling when Kili shook his head quickly, "I can leave if I am making you uncomfortable, Kili."

"I don't feel uncomfortable," Kili admitted before reaching for his brother as Fili flew to his side, "I don't know how to explain, Fee."

"Just talk straight from the heart and don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings," Fili advised as his brother blinked up at him, "Tell Uncle what you feel like, Kee."

"I…I feel anxious when you and Mother are near," Kili sighed as Dis and Thorin looked at one another sadly, "I just…I just always wanted to be as good as my Fili in your eyes and I never feel that way. It hurts to feel like I'm a disappointment all the time. I wanted to be acknowledged for being me. For being Kili. I want to grow up to be strong like Fili, but I don't want to _be_ Fili."

"Tell me more," Thorin urged as he kneeled at the edge of the bed and took his youngest nephew's hand, "I want to hear everything."

"I've always been told that I am expected to learn the sword. I do want to learn the sword, but my favorite weapon is the bow," Kili began as Fili smiled at hearing his brother's voice getting stronger with each word, "I want to learn how to shoot arrows faster than a dagger can fly. I want to be schooled with Fili. I don't like my other school. My classmates are mean, but Lud and his group have started leaving me alone now so he's not so bad."

"I can do all that," Thorin agreed as Kili snuggled further into Fili's arms, "Know that you have never been a spare in my eyes, Kili. I never once thought of you like that, but I also didn't acknowledge you very well either. Go on. Keep going."

"I'm tired of being accused of being spoiled. I never ask for anything. I…I don't mind doing without when there isn't enough food for everyone, but can I have a sausage sometimes?" Kili asked mournfully as Dis choked.

"You are never, ever going without anything," Dis wept as she reached and hugged both of her boys, "Momma is so sorry that she didn't realize how awful she was being to her one and only Kili. I love both my boys equally."

"I have never been more proud of you two in my life," Thorin added, "You are both my most precious treasures. I was trying to help raise you two to be able to handle the hardships of the world, but instead I just became one of the hardships I've been trying to protect you from. I am beyond sorry for my behavior. I can only beg for your forgiveness and work at proving my words to you for the rest of my life."

Kili sniffled at hearing words that he had always wanted to hear and nodded slightly before hiding his blushing cheeks into his brother's chest. He finally looked up since another thought had dawned on him.

"I want to learn how to do blacksmithing too," Kili admitted as Fili nodded as well, "I'm a dwarf. I want to learn how to be a warrior _and_ how to engage in a dwarven trade, but I don't want to be given away to be someone's apprentice. Don't give me away."

"Over my _dead_ body will anyone give you away. You are mine, Kee," Fili growled as Kili looked up at him before the elder calmed, "I wish to learn forge work too. We do not know if we will ever retake Erebor. Kee and I will need to learn how to support ourselves if we cannot regain our homeland. I have some things I want too."

"Tell me," Thorin urged as Kili looked at his brother curiously.

"I want Uncle to fix Kili's hair every morning when he is here like you always have done for me," Fili ordered as his uncle nodded, "I refuse to eat anything unless Kili has the same portions on his plate. Kili told me he wants me to be the heir and so I'll do my duties as long as my brother is treated fairly. I get the last say in decisions regarding Kili. Period. Not a negotiable request."

Thorin and Dis looked at one another and communicated with their eyes. Fili was still young and needed supervision.

"I will abide to all requests," Thorin decided as Dis nodded, "However, Balin is to be the deciding vote for anything regarding Kili's welfare. You are not as grown as you think you are Fili and you can trust Balin to make neutral decisions."

Fili thought over the offer and nodded. Fair enough.

"I can live with that," Fili agreed as he shook his uncle's hand in a dwarven contractual agreement, "Kili fell asleep."

Thorin grinned down at his youngest nephew. Kili still wore out way too quickly, but the happier look on his lax face made his heart warm. Things were looking up.

"Guard his dreams," Thorin whispered as Fili settled next to his brother, "Rest. Kili sleeps the deepest when you are near. The more he sleeps the quicker Kili will recover fully from his ordeal."

Fili never left his brother's side for longer than cleaning up after that. Kili adored his brother and eagerly ate to gain more strength to be able to stay up longer to be with Fili. Dis and Thorin watched as Kili filled out a little more each week. By the time, he was able to walk about a bit, two months had passed since the breaking of his fever.

"I think we can get you measured for some clothes now," Thorin decided as he looked his youngest nephew over as Kili blinked.

"I have clothes," Kili argued before frowning in confusion as Fili laughed.

"Uncle Thorin burned everything," Fili chuckled as Kili gaped, "The only things that are left are the boots."

"Do…do I have to go to market nearly naked in only my nightshirt and boots?" Kili squeaked in embarrassment before jumping as his uncle threw his head back and laughed heartily.

"I didn't think about that," Thorin admitted, "I will speak with the tailor and bring him here. You are still not at the point that I want you out in the elements anyway."

Kili nodded feeling a bit overwhelmed. New clothes and new furniture all in the same year? Coins ran out and then what would happen to the family?

"No worries," Thorin suddenly spoke up as Kili looked back at him, "I've started to figure out your 'thinkin' face. I have new contracts with several teams of rangers and so we are fine. You leave the worrying about finances to me and your mother. I see now that I was never spending the monies we had fairly to begin with. There was no need for you to go without as much as I allowed. You just worry about recovering, Kili."

Fili grinned encouragingly at his little brother as Kili turned questioning eyes on him. The next week was filled with visitors who came to visit Kili. Friends of the family were pleased to see that the lad was looking more and more like his old self. Kili was a bit surprised at how much he was told that he would have been missed if he had passed.

"Tell me," Fili ordered him that night as they lay in Kili's bed together, "You are thinking again. Tell me your thoughts."

"I…I never thought anyone noticed me," Kili admitted as his Fee listened, "I didn't know anyone noticed me enough to miss me if I was gone besides you, Fili."

"You are just as important a part of our community as me and Uncle," Fili reminded gently, "Kili, even Lud stopped me when Momma sent me to the market for milk and asked how you were doing. You've been missed, Little Brother."

"Really?" Kili questioned before smiling softly when Fili nodded eagerly, "I…wow. Lud? Who'd have ever thought."

To be continued…


	7. Epilogue

**The Spare**

Still enjoying writing some dwarven tales.

This is an AU story. Centers around Thorin and his family. Still adore Thorin, but he is a bit of an ass both in the book and movie. Sorry, Thorin fans, but the dwarf has flaws like us all. This is a tale of mistakes and misunderstandings. A person is never too old to learn from mistakes and we see that not only in Thorin, but also Dis by the end of this tale.

Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

I own nothing.

Epilogue

"Tell me," Fili ordered him that night as they lay in Kili's bed together, "You are thinking again. Tell me your thoughts."

"I…I never thought anyone noticed me," Kili admitted as his Fee listened, "I didn't know anyone noticed me enough to miss me if I was gone besides you, Fili."

"You are just as important a part of our community as me and Uncle," Fili reminded gently, "Kili, even Lud stopped me when Momma sent me to the market for milk and asked how you were doing. You've been missed, Little Brother."

"Really?" Kili questioned before smiling softly when Fili nodded eagerly, "I…wow. Lud? Who'd have ever thought."

"You have more to offer than most know," Fili insisted as his brother blinked up at him in shock, "It's time to show the world all you have to offer, Kee. You are perfect being yourself and you never have to think that you have to live up to my standards. You are not me. You are Kili and he is one amazing dwarf."

Kili blushed and hid his face against Fili. He had just always thought that since he was just the second that he wasn't worth the time of day to others.

"Do you know what I found out?" Fili asked as Kili shook his head, "Uncle Frerin went through something similar to what happened to you."

"He did?" Kili questioned in surprise, "What happened? Did Uncle Thorin do the same to his brother?"

"No. It was our grandfather," Fili admitted as his brother blinked and Fili launched into the full story, "Then our grandmother knocked her husband out with Oin's staff for hurting her child."

"Whoa," Kili gasped, "If that happened to Uncle Frerin then why didn't Mother and Uncle Thorin recognize what they were doing to me?"

"Because we got lost," a voice said as both boys looked up to see Thorin entering the room, "We got so lost in trying to do so much that we didn't see that we had begun replicating our father's old pattern. Your mother and I swore that we would never allow that to happen again, but then we did allow it. We were both stupidly going forward without seeing the whole picture. I swear to you that hurting you was never our intent. I am ashamed of my behavior and so is your mother."

Kili bowed his head and nodded slightly. This was a lot of information that he had never heard before.

"Uncle, was Uncle Frerin alright?" Kili inquired looking back up at Thorin.

"He was after some time for him to heal emotionally," Thorin explained as both of his nephews leaned forward, "He and Father became very close after all of that. Father hadn't meant to hurt my brother and learned from his mistakes just as Dis and I have learned from our mistakes. It was nice then to feel like a full family for the first time in a long time."

"It doesn't feel good to not feel like a part of the family," Kili whispered as Fili glared at Thorin, "I'm glad you and Mother see the whole picture now because it isn't nice not being a part of that picture."

"You were _always_ a part of the picture," Thorin assured reaching to stroke Kili's cheek as Fili relaxed a little, "Dis and I just didn't act like it and we are very sorry for that. I do hope you can one day forgive us for that."

"I can," Kili agreed instantly, "I just…it's been a long time since anyone really listened to me or looked at me so I'm going to have to get used to that."

"You take all the time you need," Thorin offered, "Sleep well. The tailor is coming tomorrow to measure you for some new clothes. Get some sleep."

The next day the tailor showed up bright and early to measure Kili from top to bottom. The youngest was excited about getting to pick out some of the fabrics and leathers. Fili was happy to see his brother's excitement. It had been a long time since Kili had really smiled without a hint of shadow around him.

"Time will heal him," Dis told her eldest as Fili looked up at her, "Our bonds have been tested, but we will forge them stronger. This will never happen again. Kili will never suffer as he has in the past. Not only because you are protecting him, but because Thorin and I are no longer blinded by our own arrogance. We will be a family again."

"Kee would like that," Fili sighed looking as his brother talked happily with the tailor, "I would like that too."

Thorin and Dis made good on their promises and never treated either boys any differently except to acknowledge the natural difference in Fili's and Kili's personalities. By the time that spring arrived, Kili was back to his old self with excess energy to spare and clothes that left none to doubt Kili's importance in the community.

Spring became summer and soon the youngest Durin had found that he had more in common with Lud and his group than originally thought. Kili was no longer the Pauper Prince and having more of a sense in self helped others see his happier, joyful side. Kili felt more alive than he had in years as he ran happily through the woods next to his brother feeling very much a part of the line of Durin come fall.

"Fili! Kili! Get down here now!" Thorin yelled at his wild nephews as they turned and galloped down the hill towards him.

Thorin chuckled as Kili beat his brother and began to chirp excitedly at his uncle as the three left the woods and walked back home together slowly.

"Lud asked me to go camping with him and the guys," Kili described as he made happy, hand gestures, "We are going to roast sausages over the fire and Lud's father is going to teach us how to tie knots. May I go, Uncle? Please?"

"Only if I may accompany you from afar," Thorin advised as Kili bounced in place, "No offense to Lud's father, but I would feel better if there was more than one grown dwarf to watch a gaggle of dwarflings. You're coming to, Fili, and probably Dwalin as well. Dwarflings get into the worst messes."

"I am _not_ a dwarfling," Kili pouted before gasping and hurrying over to a weapon vendor in the marketplace, "Ooh!

Fili smiled when he saw his brother exclaiming over a small bow and arrow set that was perfect for a young dwarf to learn archery with.

"Already purchased it," Thorin whispered as Fili looked up in surprise, "Kili's Begetting Day is in two days. It is about time it was celebrated properly, don't you think?"

Fili grinned wide and accepted the coin purse that was passed to him.

"Here is your payment for your help in the stables," Thorin chuckled as Fili bounced just as Kili had a moment ago, "I knew why you offered your help at the beginning of the month, Fili. I am assuming some arm guards and a quiver that matches the bow would be something that you are planning on using that coin for, am I right?"

"Right," Fili agreed.

"I'll distract your brother," Thorin offered as he walked away, "Leave your purchases with the bow set. Balin is picking it up in an hour to help keep everything a surprise. Come straight home afterwards."

Fili watched as Thorin led Kili away as his brother chirped on and on about what a great archer he was going to be one day. It felt good to see how much better Kili looked from one anniversary of his birth to another. Fili sighed in relief. He hadn't wanted to break up his family, but he would have gotten Kili into a better environment if he had needed to.

"About time everyone saw what I always knew," Fili hummed to himself as he left to do his shopping, "Kili was never a spare and always my dearest brother. I'll end anyone who tries to hurt him again."

Kili turned and watched his brother scurry into the bustling crowds for a second before an arm rested across his shoulders and he was pulled towards home. The youngest looked up at his uncle and walked contentedly beside Thorin as the older dwarf smiled at him warmly. It felt good to know that he was right where he belonged. No longer was Fili the heir and he the spare. Fili was heir and Kili would train his hardest to be the shield that kept his brother safe. He just needed to convince Uncle Thorin he was ready to start training with the bow and that little set back in the marketplace would be perfect to train with.

The end.

Thank you to all who read and reviewed. This is a tale that has been pushing at me to write. Sometimes even the best family members make mistakes in judgment. Thorin and Dis never meant to hurt Kili, but they didn't see what they were doing at the time. I wanted this story to show that families can heal when mistakes are made. Forgiveness can be hard to give, but hopefully the bonds grow stronger when the problem comes to light and is fixed.

XOXOX,

Was-Mokie


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